Culture Change- Breaking Down Tradition

Interesting discussion over on Student 2.0 by Sean (the bass player) a student in Scotland and a group of teachers.

The post was inspired from some well meant questions from a caring American adult (teacher) who was chatting with Sean at 1:30am (Scotland). I think it was more the perceived inferences Sean drew from the questions that inspired his post, not necessarily the intentions of the asker, but regardless, the conversation struck a chord with me.

Where do we draw the line?
Sean asks, "Where do we draw the line?" in response to the question- “Does it seem strange to you to associate with a bunch of adults?”  There is more to the conversation- I encourage you to go read Sean's post for contextual reference for this discourse that follows.

The line Sean is talking about has more to do with the hidden rules of tradition and territory than it does with a moral or digital citizenship line of sorts. It is one that while more visible in the 21st Century has been around since Amateur radios began showing up in homes.  It also has a bit to do with motivations, goals, intellect and family culture I think. Let me explain.

It is a matter of family norms and culture
Sean's preference for adults is not new and he certainly isn't the only one. There are others who don't quite fit the mold and in some families it is by design. I homeschooled my four kids. Amber, my oldest (http://myaimistrue.com), only attended 1 year of conventional education. And Grace, my youngest, entered the traditional system in 5th grade(11-12 year olds).They mostly hung with adults and each other- which had some real advantages. Sure, they had some friends that were their own ages who they mostly saw at church or later in the collaborative school I created, but mainly they preferred adults. Why didn't that bother me? Because in our family the culture (mantra) was- I am raising adults, not kids. I wanted the end product to be adults, so having lots of interaction with adults seemed to make sense.

My kids were mature for their age and had lots of questions and interests that other kids simply were not into, so it just made more sense for them to connect with folks who could help them learn what they wanted to learn. Besides, learning in our family took place 24/7 even at 1:30am-- as we all had people we spoke to around the world. And I do not think that is so different than it was for my father as he was a Hamm Radio nut when he was a kid and up at all times of the night trying to accommodate for time zones.

And being a homeschooling family, the more interesting or diverse the adults my kids befriended, the better. Since my kids could pursue their passions in terms of content studied, we actively sought out adult mentors who could serve as SMEs (subject matter experts), and technology helped a great deal with that. My kids would often attend the college classes I taught and participate in the discussions. They felt as comfortable around adults as they did children, not because they were so different- but more because our culture and experience was different. 

Tools today are more powerful
While we didn't have the same tools we have now, we did have some. Bulletin boards and asynchronous chat boards were popular, IRC chat, and various protocols that gave us direct access to each other's machines. Sometimes I would make the relationships online and introduce my new found friends to my kids and sometimes they would introduce me to who they had met. I will admit- in the beginning of all this- there were typically more "techie types" online than there was Joe average, so less chance for a need to exercise digital citizenship (safety)  skills. It simply hadn't caught on yet. However, if I had been given a choice between my kids being online at 1:30 am talking to someone in Scotland who was a responsible adult or having them out riding around in a car, breaking curfew with other immature, age-specific peers-- well you get the idea. Plus, when you raise your kids to be responsible online and have open lines of communication there is a level of trust that is developed. And until that trust is broken, there is no reason to doubt that the relationships  they are making in person or online aren't healthy. Staying involved is the key.

I say all this to say- not all kids are the same. Not all parenting styles are the same. My kids now are all very successful and madly creative. They are well adjusted and have lots of friends. They all say they have fond memories of growing up in a house that included such different learning opportunities and access to a variety of interesting adults through both hands-on and virtual experiences. And they all have continued to develop relationships with interesting adults from around the world.

Teachable Moments and Networking

Let me help you understand the different mind set. Because the culture in our family was learning as a life style and not just when school was in- we were always on "game" in terms of teachable moments.
I remember going to WalMart and seeing two young adults (my age at the time) on bikes who were traveling long distance. I thought, what a cool experience this would be for my kids. I struck up a conversation with these strangers and invited them to stay at my house for a few days. Turns out, Jenny and Dan were from Seattle and had just gotten married. As part of their honeymoon, they decided to take a cross country bike trip for a year and Jenny, a writer was documenting it all on a laptop!!! (Remember 15 years ago laptops were not as common). Boy did I score. Here we had young, interesting adults who used higher order thinking to plan a year long trip, one was a writer, they were traveling and could share their experiences with my kids.

We got out a map and documented everywhere they had been with pins and yarn. (picture shows how we used this technique to study other things too) We researched the geography, culture, and landforms. We talked about how you plan a year long trip and the kids planned their own using their newly found skills. We  looked at bikes in general, the mechanics, how to wrench, the science behind them and the environmental impact. The curriculum we discovered in Jenny and Dan was endless. When they left- they emailed back their locations and we continued to track them on the map.

Well meaning friends asked-- How did you know they weren't mass murders? What if they had been drug addicts or had hurt your children while you slept or what if they had stolen things? All valid questions I guess but  not part of our reality, much like Sean 's feeling of  surprise, " I surprisingly hadn’t thought about it before."

Not Wrong- Just Different
That isn't to say this way is "the" way to raise a family. Homeschooling sure has gotten its share of criticism as well. It is to say that there are different ways to raise kids that are acceptable even if they do not fit into the traditional vein. And adults are not the only ones who feel discomfort with breaking tradition (Sean's post).  Teens also feel territorial about places like MYSpace. My kids use to get asked all the time if it creeped them out that I was on MySpace and Facebook. They would laugh and say not at all as I was there first. 

Bottom Line
I think the most important message I got from what Sean wrote was this- Teachers we need to ask ourselves...

Do we want what we are preaching or not? Do we want kids who know how to use these tools in powerful and pervasive ways to connect and collaborate with others from around the world-- even at the cost of breaking our comfort and relationship with the status quo. Are we willing to unlearn most of what we know and relearn new ways -- new norms-- for how healthy relationships are established and nurtured in the 21st Century? Do we believe in learning ecologies made up of very diverse people who help inform our student's interests and passions?

Model for your students how to build a personal learning network
The kids are ready for relationships defined by community and what each learner has to share- and not bound by the traditions of teachers having to be the expert. I feel I have come full circle. Now rather than looking for teachable moments with interesting adults so my kids can learn what they need to learn, I find myself looking for opportunities to learn with/from interesting students who have garnered skill and wisdom through their use of these participatory medias. I want to learn all Sean has learned in his late night ventures with interesting adults. I hope he doesn't hang with kids all the time and that his parents continue to allow him to be part of a learning community that is trying to leave education a better place.

As educators we need to get ready for a real shift in culture. The shifts that are coming will not allow "business as usual" rather it will be "business as unusual". That is why it is critical for all of us to first own these emerging technologies and the pedagogy/culture that surrounds them, by using Web 2.0 tools to connect- in an effort to chase our own passions. Through the experience of building of your own PLN, not only will you model for your students how this should be done, but you might find some transformational moments along the way -that like mine with Jenny and Dan- will leave you a better person. And do NOT discount what those younger or older than you have to offer. Use expertise and passion- not age- as criteria for who you should learning from and for who should be part of your learning network.

I look forward to your comments, concerns, and push back. Let's have this hard conversation.

Photo credit: http://www.ky4ky.com/yhn.htm

Comments

[Susan]

Well said, Sheryl. I would have loved to have been raised in your family. Of course, translating all this to the large school district much less a small independent school such as mine is tricky. Also, this culture of change makes some people fearful and, well, angry. I think some teachers would answer "no" to many of your questions listed above. At this point, all I can do is try to model the shift myself and keep moving forward.

[Sheryl Nussbaum-Beach]

Susan,

Point well taken about the differences in family and school. I took the direction I did in this post because there was mention in the Student2.0 post of the original questions that inspired the post having been from the role of a mother type concern not a teacher.

I do agree it makes people angry and fearful. I remember folks, especially teachers, feeling that way about homeschool as well. We always get cranky when moved from our comfort zone don't we? That is why schools are the perfect breeding ground for protecting the status quo at all costs.

We have so much invested in what we know that the idea of having to let go and unlearn and relearn is disconcerting.

So I ask you-- Why do you think most teachers would answer "no" to my questions? Is that a bad thing? And do you think the problem will take care of itself with the changing of the guard (teachers retiring) or not?

[Susan]

I probably shouldn't have generalized and said "most teachers." But I know I have heard from my own faculty that they are not convinced that connecting and collaborating (globally or otherwise) are valuable at the expense of giving up the content--that until proven otherwise, they will continue to teach in their comfort zones. I believe the answers to your questions should be YES, YES, and YES, which is why I keep having one-to-one conversations, try to model and share, and offer readings to support this idea of "unlearning" and "relearning." Having been through many of the same educational trends in teaching that you have (I've been at this for 27 years), this is the first time I am truly energized see a possibility for real change. However, I don't think it's a matter of the old-guard retiring since I see this in some of our younger teachers as well. This is a matter of accepting a fundamental shift in understanding how we learn, that we all learn differently, in all the ways you mentioned so eloquently in your post. It will take time.

[Britt Watwood]

Great blog post, Sheryl.  It aligns nicely with Martha's post from earlier in the week on Thinking Bigger, as well as one I made on the need to model and teach digital literacy in order for our kids to be competitive in this changing, flat world.

[MaryJo Wagner]

Bravo! I spent vast amounts of time with adults as a child. What a great gift. And how much I learned. An added benefit was a compassion and appreciation of "old people" that kids who spend most of their time with other kids just don't get.

And my son--an only kid--had the same experience. Not sure I was so savvy at the time that I realized such was happening. Certainly wasn't together enough to be setting it up intentionally. But again, what a gift he received.

MaryJo

[Angela]

I can understand that as a parent your job is to teach your children to grow up to be functional, respectable adults that adhere to the customs of modern society. At the same time, however, I feel that there are reasons why we are not all born as adults and why we go through stages that eventually lead us to adulthood, but do not employ adulthood as a commencing stage. It is important to understand that our childhoods are necessary in developing as human beings and being robbed of a childhood may not necessarily be in one’s best interest. I am not saying that the result did not dictate otherwise in the case of your children, however, children need to interact with other children and, well, people in general who may be different from those provided in their accustomed atmosphere within a household. Learning different ideas that are at their level as children and interacting with different children allows for kids’ minds to be stimulated as well; they miss out on these experiences when only exposed to close ties at home and few friends otherwise. While I can understand that the obvious objective is to allow for children to be stimulated at a higher level which can be perceived as a greater intellectual level of adulthood, I feel as though one can benefit just as much and gain a lot of experiences and knowledge through acting like a child when a child ourselves. Children also are constantly learning, whether it is in or outside of the classroom setting provided by schools. Learning does not necessarily cease once a child returns home from school; a mind is constantly being exercised and put to good use, especially with the curiosity of children the various surroundings that attract them and which they may find of interest outside of the home. While I can appreciate the ideas that served as a foundation for your family and the ways in which they were raised, I feel as though lives are more well-rounded and cultured by the ideas brought about by the various individuals we are to come into contact with throughout the course of our lives, beginning with childhood.

[Amber]

Hey I'm Sherry's oldest daughter. Just wanted to direct a comment to Angela. We definitely were not "robbed of a childhood". I think you kind of missed the point she was trying to make.

Of course I had same-age peers as friends, we were part of several different homeschooling groups, not to mention the many iterations of the school that mom ran out of her home and then in a more structured classroom setting. There were also the crazily creative birthday parties (Double-Dare themed one was my favorite, complete with slime pool and 6-foot banana split). We were active in 4-H as well as our church youth and children's programs. We had plenty of exposure to kids, played all the usual silly games and got plenty of opportunities to experience all the joy and wonder that's so important at a young age.

I think what may have been different about my childhood (as compared to the way I have seen adults treat their kids now that I'm of child-rearing age) was that we weren't ever told "go outside and play with the kids" if we showed interest in an adult discussion. We weren't afraid to ask an adult a question or talk with them about a subject we were curious about, and I think that helped them treat us almost as equals, instead of baby talking to us or talking down to us like some adults do to kids. I think being comfortable around adults challenged my intellect and I know for a fact it really influenced my vocabulary and verbal skills even at a really young age.

Just thought I'd give my perspective since I'm the product of this unique philosophy. :)

[Lindsey]

Great points.
I loved your point about about how you "wanted the end product to be adults, so having lots of interaction with adults seemed to make sense." How true! I think it is great to set your students up with SMEs on their interests. What better way to develop a better understanding of one's interest than through direct contact with a SME? I don't believe it makes them "grow up faster." Instead, it teaches children how to learn from others' experiences. It also shows them that adults can be trusted (and questioned, if necessary). Rather than treating adults as a type of "authoritative elite," students can learn from them. In my opinion, children grow up "too fast," when they are forced to resolve adult issues without adult assistance. You are certainly not putting your children in those circumstances. Keep up the great work! Love the blog :)

[Heidi]

I loved reading this post! Mom, it brought back so many great memories from my childhood. For everyone reading, I’m the little girl in the pink polka dot outfit and obnoxious bow in my hair working with that map on the wall. :) I was just reading through the comments and also wanted to provide a little perspective regarding Angela’s opinion.

Angela, I strongly believe that from birth to death we are all on a journey, the people we encounter, the way we are treated, behaviors observed, interactions on all levels as children, teens, adults, all take part in the person that we are continually developing into. However, from your comments, I feel that you somehow believe we missed out on many important parts of being a kid. That is definitely not the case!! I am so thankful for my childhood. I hold the memories and experiences of growing up very close to my heart. I had all of the best childhood experiences anyone could dream of, the fun sleepovers, the games, making mud pies, playing in the sandbox, lemonade stands, playing dress up, Barbie’s, etc. – and my mom, while she was always encouraging us and teaching us to search and learn and grow, making every moment a “teachable moment” – definitely played with us also! I remember she would always play hide and seek with us, and we would build tents all around our living room with sheets that completely covered every piece of furniture… so we had to crawl around and use flashlights. Even in structured education, during a time we were having school at our home, we were studying Indian culture and to make it alive to us, we built a HUGE life size tipi in our front yard and decorated it and had a full Indian powwow with feathers in our hair and drums and all. We definitely had our share of play as children. :) The difference is exactly what my older sister mentioned above, we were given more respect and opportunity based on our interpersonal skills and maturity level. I really believe that while I had a phenomenal childhood that some kids only dream of, because of the way I was raised, to be an adult, I am more rounded than many of my peers and even some colleagues that are older than me. I’m 24, I’m a Registered Nurse in a busy Emergency Department, and my communication skills and ability to think and make decisions in a split life threatening second backed with confidence would not be so developed had my mom not raised me the way she did.

May our minds always be stimulated, our ears, eyes and hearts open to learning and growth - and hopefully the best part, the playing, will never stop. :) Thanks for everything you taught us Mom.

[Sheryl Nussbaum-Beach]

How exciting to see my kids respond here and have such positive memories of their childhood. It just doesn't get much better than that!

[Clif]

This is interesting discussion. The Student 2.0 project is eye-opening and thought provocative, isn't it?

[Rachael]

Although I think that the technology and strategies that you use in your homeschooling classroom seems to work well for your situation, I still feel that you have to be careful with how you go about teaching your children. I believe that it is important for children to experience interaction with people their own age in a large group setting, as well as interact with adults. I'm glad that you have created a program that works for you, but it might not prepare other children for the real world.

[Sheryl Nussbaum-Beach]

How so Rachel? My kids all re-entered public and private schools (traditional systems) and were honor graduates. They are also successful in life. Also, I taught lots 100s of other children from diverse homes in similar ways and they also have gone on and done amazing things in the real world.

The truth is it doesn't matter where kids go to school- what matters is that they have caring adults who are willing to invest in their lives and help them develop a life long love of learning. Teachers and mentors are what matter in helping to produce a responsible citizen, not schools.

You can just as easily have a horrid educational experience in public, private, home, and mentor situations - none of which would prepare kids for what you term "the real world."

In fact, some would argue that the current curriculum we are using in most traditional schools is not preparing kids for "the real world" in which they will live.

And just for the record- if you read my post and the comments of my children you will see we agree with you. My kids, the kids I taught and the kids I teach in the future will all enjoy interaction with people their own age in large group settings, as well as interacting with adults and SMEs.

[Amanda]

"When you raise your kids to be responsible online and have open lines of communication there is a level of trust that is developed. And until that trust is broken, there is no reason to doubt that the relationships they are making in person or online aren't healthy. Staying involved is the key." I have to say this is what really stood out to me when I read it and I said "YES!" I totally agree with this statement and if parents were being totally involved with what their children were browsing on the web, I think that many children would be responsible and learn more of what the internet and the resources out there have to offer to them and they would learn so much more on their own. To give an insight to some of Sean's questions; Everything is getting very technological and I think it would be of great value to the students to be able to talk to people around the world and it would be a great way to bring diversity and culture into the classroom. I find it funny now when I look back to my school years and the only time we really enjoyed and got excited to learn about a different culture was when we got to eat the different foods, yes we learned what they ate, but I think it would be more beneficial to the students to be able to talk first hand to someone from a different country using technology and really learn about that person, their culture, why they do things the way they do. Parents or teachers could make a learning experience out of it and compare and contrast the differences and understand why people live differently. I think it could take away a lot of stereotypical labels we put on different cultures and students could really understand the true meaning of that person and their culture. I really don't think that there would be a problem with this as long as the teacher and or parents stayed informed of what was going on and a good learning experience could come from it.

[Amanda]

"When you raise your kids to be responsible online and have open lines of communication there is a level of trust that is developed. And until that trust is broken, there is no reason to doubt that the relationships they are making in person or online aren't healthy. Staying involved is the key." I have to say this is what really stood out to me when I read it and I said "YES!" I totally agree with this statement and if parents were being totally involved with what their children were browsing on the web, I think that many children would be responsible and learn more of what the internet and the resources out there have to offer to them and they would learn so much more on their own. To give an insight to some of Sean's questions; Everything is getting very technological and I think it would be of great value to the students to be able to talk to people around the world and it would be a great way to bring diversity and culture into the classroom. I find it funny now when I look back to my school years and the only time we really enjoyed and got excited to learn about a different culture was when we got to eat the different foods, yes we learned what they ate, but I think it would be more beneficial to the students to be able to talk first hand to someone from a different country using technology and really learn about that person, their culture, why they do things the way they do. Parents or teachers could make a learning experience out of it and compare and contrast the differences and understand why people live differently. I think it could take away a lot of stereotypical labels we put on different cultures and students could really understand the true meaning of that person and their culture. I really don't think that there would be a problem with this as long as the teacher and or parents stayed informed of what was going on and a good learning experience could come from it.

[alexanderhayes]

Check this out for 21st century learning - http://alupton.edublogs.org/