Time to Reflect

At the close of every year our family uses this time as an opportunity to review, reflect, predict and plan. We each have a journal where we have kept our goals and it is interesting to look back over the years and see where we have been successful and areas that still need work or redefining.

We do not just take a  “What should I change?” perspective when goal setting but we also look at our strengths, as individuals and as a family. We collectively examine how well we have been keeping the family mission statement and look closely at what each of us did in the previous year as individuals that worked. 

Some questions we will ask each other in our family meeting on Jan 1, 2009 ...

• What am I doing well?
• What did I complete or do successfully during 2008?
• What are my highest held values and how can I build on them?
• How am I documenting my successes and excellence?
• What are my three month, one year, & five year goals under the categories of personal, professional, family, spiritual, and financial?
• Long term- what 2008 goals have I achieved?

Everyone of us has something that works in life; something we can build on and develop. I am a big believer in developing strengths. To be highly successful you figure out what you do well and where your passions lie and you develop that area to its fullest. I am convinced that is how one achieves excellence, by playing to one's strengths. In our family, the areas of weakness will get attention too, but while we work on our deficits we understand that our most heroic efforts will often yield mediocrity at best. The exception is when our deficit is in an area of passionate interest, then motivation typically pushes us to produce despite any circumstance that may conspire against us.

We also celebrate together our successes and we hold each other accountable for laziness. Our family meetings throughout the children's lives have been a powerful way to develop their voice, encourage their strengths and to receive from them their wisdom regarding life choices we are contemplating. A good friend told me recently, "Never sell short the importance of raising wise children, as we will need their wisdom as we grow older." Never a truer statement! I can't count the times my children have been able to look at my circumstance and offer a perspective I had not considered that was wise beyond their years.

Have a blessed New Year. Take some time to reflect and plan as a family. You will be richer for it.

Comments

[Lorraine Orenchuk]

Sheryl, Thank you for the subtle, concise, and appropriate reminder to set goals and remember our mission. I didn't do this with my children when we all lived in the same home and state, but will encourage this dialogue with them now, specifically as a reflective piece. My professional mission has allowed my growth through professional resources like yours. Thank you for sharing this piece. Lorraine

[Ed Shepherd]

Very inspiring post. I have done this on my own for years using Stephen Covey's idea of a personal mission statement. Up to this point never really thought of doing a yearly reflection with the family, so I hope you don't mind if I use some of your ideas as a starting point. Thank you for the ideas.

[Karen]

We've used family meetings since my daughter was very young. What a great tool they are! Early on, they helped us be better parents-- we learned to bite our tongues and say, "We'll talk about this in family meeting, but right now...." instead of blowing up.

They became forums for all the little details that otherwise would get lost in the shuffle of daily life.

As she got older, our daughter began to use them to make pitches for things like raises in allowance or special school-related activities she wanted to pursue.

And, when we faced a family crisis, we thanked our lucky stars that we had this habit established, otherwise, we might never have gotten everybody to the table to talk about it.

Helpful hint: dessert can be a draw for pre-teens who engage in lots of eye-rolling when meeting time draws near.

Thanks for reminding me of this-- with a child home on her first winter break from college, it seems like a good thing to start again.

Karen

[Sheryl Nussbaum-Beach]

Thanks for sharing Karen. We have also used family meetings since the kids were little and I agree with everything you said.

Our family meetings have been wonderful ways to help with the transition into adulthood for our kids too, as everyone has equal rights to speak in a family meeting as long as it is done respectfully. So often issues were brought to the forefront about the adults that needed addressing too.

I believe our family is as close as it is now because of family meetings.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing.